It’s 2:31am and we’re both sleeping like babies. In my dreams, I begin to hear a distant and irritating noise. BANG! BANG! BANG! I’m trying to ignore it but it just keeps getting louder. BANG! BANG! BANG! Instinctively, I sit bolt upright in bed. It’s not a dream, someone is knocking on the outside of the van.

Dazed and confused, I fling the side door open. My bleary eyes are almost blinded by the blue flashing lights. Standing right in front of me, face to face, is the silhouette of a large Italian policeman.

Just a few hours earlier we parked our Wicked camper on the outskirts of Rome. A car park next to an abandoned building seemed like a quiet place to get some shut eye.

Now, in the wee morning hours, I am sitting here in the open door of my graffiti covered van, staring at an Italian policeman. And he’s staring strangely back at me. It’s at that moment that I realise why he has a shocked look on his face… I am buck naked.

I am sure that if I wasn’t woken so suddenly I would have remembered to put some clothes on. Sadly I did not.

After a few startled seconds, the policeman says “This… not here… not possible”. I’m not the best morning person and it’s early in the morning. So, without thinking, I decide that I am going to debate the point with him. And yes, I am still naked. Throwing my hands up in the air indignantly, I reply “I’m sleeping!”. Again, he tries to get his message across in broken English. “This… not possible”. I come back with, “I’m sleeping”, as if to say “Can’t we deal with this in the morning?”

Our ridiculous conversation goes back and forth. He’s getting exasperated and I’m getting cold. Finally, just as he’s reached the point of total frustration, he stops and peers around behind me. “You alone?” he asks with a quizzical voice. Right at that moment, Jess pops her head out from under the doona. She sits up, waves, and with a big smile says “Hello”. The big Italian looks back at me, smiles and then gives me a wink. “Arrrh… it’s ok”. And just like that, he waves goodbye, turns, and walks away.